I want to be alone.
I don’t know why I’m feeling so miserable, it makes absolutely no sense, and this is only the first day of vacation. My week was fine, everything is fine, except I’ve just felt horrible all day.
Maybe it’s my obsessive listening to the soundtracks of A Single Man and The Fountain. I just want to let go of everything and allow myself to feel sad and cry or something instead of just sulking for nothing all day. Get this out of my system. But I don’t know why I’d want to cry.
I kept having flashes of a dream I had today but I don’t know when it was, I don’t know what it was about but these flashes just made me feel gloomy even if it was so fleeting that I couldn’t know what they were. It reminds me of those times I’ve been reaaally tired and heard noises that weren’t there when I closed my eyes and saw images but didn’t know if they were dreams I were remembering or things I’d seen that day. So naturally I’m in a foul mood and horrible to everyone so everyone’s like “you’re always in a bad mood, you annoy me, you can’t stand anything, why don’t you go outside more maybe you wouldn’t be like this, are you happy? why are you in a bad mood? Ugh no one can talk to you because you’re so aggressive” etc. Meh. I want to do something that involves stitching countless french knots so I don’t have to think about anything.

Tags: rant rant ranty rant